Thursday, February 16

Just Grip It and Rip It

Even Homer Nods.....

What a fookin' drag. First, let me describe what I'm trying to design and knit. The name: "Venus in a Halfshell." A long jacket with bands of blues and purples that mimic the colors of a mussel shell. Some textured stitches to add that sexy oyster element. We had mussels for dinner awhile back and I was mesmorized by the colors in the shells...ok, maybe I was playing 'Mr. Mussel talks to the Hand.'
BUT, those colors were niiiice...just the thing for my first attempt at Procion MX dyeing on some random skeins I had in my stash. So, I dyed up the different yarns and was very pleased with the results. All I had to do was whip up a little pattern and Bob's your uncle. Hah!

Then, Little Miss Knidiot had the bright idea to integrate the border pattern into the knitting so I wouldn't have to pick up nine jillion stitches later and then knit said border. What a pinche /dumbass idea that was.







Barf-O-Matic.
I cast on and started a moss stitch border, then after 3 inches got to the part where I was knitting the body in rev. st. st., then the border while shaping for the shawl collar neckline. Still with me?
After about 8 inches of this lunacy, I realized that between making color changes and keeping the border pattern intact I had one sorry-ass looking piece of work. Only one thing to do--back to the drawing board.









I cast on again, this time without the border, changed my stripes into ridges and now we're much better....I even threw in some yarnovers to keep the abalones happy. So now, all I have to do is finish this front section, move on to the back and the other front. Easy-peasy! Oh, and the sleeves, then the border and few extra touches all before the closing ceremonies. And I do have an Uncle Bob, FYI.

SOUTH BEACH:

We're hanging in there. Mr. Mary has lost a couple of lbs. I'm trying not to weigh myself and obsess. We do get to eat half a side of beef for dinner. I've been craving stuff like Ben&Jerry's Chunky Monkey at odd times of the day--my friend Meredith(the venison chili was perfect, by the way) says that's from the lack of booze. I've also been drinking gallons of Klass' Jamaica drink mix made with Splenda. Here are two cookbooks that have helped with recipes, they're old and probably out of date but worth finding if you're a foodie on a diet:
Cuisine Minceur, by Michel Guerard (Wm. Morrow, 1976, in English) This is old school French which means there's always another sauce to make so you have that one crucial tablespoon for your recipe. Bear that in mind and make substitutions.
The Gourmet Gazelle Cookbook, by Ellen Brown (Bantam, 1991) Ellen Brown had a gourmet take-out shop in NYC (think Silver Palate Lite) in 1987 which opened to great press but didn't survive. Luckily, she cranked out this great collection of regional/international lowfat recipes.
Another example of the book surviving the restaurant...the Sugar Reef in NYC was one of our alltime faves in late 80's NYC. They're long gone, but our taped and dogeared copy of The Sugar Reef Caribbean Cookbook, by Devra Dedeaux (Dell, 1989) still delivers. There's an awesome espresso chocolate torte recipe that gets made for really, really special occasions. Try finding these titles at Kitchen Arts&Letters where the manager, Matt Sartwell, was my evil boss in another life.

HOME FRONT:


Me wee bairn, Tex, is still dodgy so he's home curled up in bed. The fever aka 'Marley's Ghost' makes an appearance nightly around 7pm which puts the kibbosh on school. DS is surviving on chicken noodle soup, saltines, 7-Up, H2O and Star Wars Battlefront II. The painters have taped the windows with plastic and are spraying primer all over our brick exterior in preparation of "Moneypit Project #51, sub clause C." Our nasty beige brick 50's ranch will go all tropical with yellow paint and green trim. I think it will be bright and festive, y'know happy. I think our neighbor, Mr. Wilson, would call it something else...say, cold boogers on a paper plate. Look, when even your own kids won't trick-or-treat the neighbor's house, you know there's some seriously bad karma over there. That's why my yarn hag looks at his house:

DON'T WORRY, KNIT HAPPY!


1 comment:

lobstah said...

What a cool concept for a sweater! I can't wait to see how the "Oyster shell" turns out...so far it looks amazing.